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Top 10 Fears I Really Have and No Longer Wish to Really Have

Behold the humiliating and minuscule fears of a real adult woman.

 10. Accidentally walking into some sort of improvised flashmob-type situation where a bunch of naked women are just laying there with their legs open. This is a recurring nightmare and I can’t begin to tell you how it ruins a day from morning to night, but it does.

9. No longer being able to tell the difference between meat and cheese. At parties, you’re the one saying, “I don’t know! They’re the same to me!”

8. Spiders. And you know what, fuck them! They’re tiny as fuck.

7. Cats biting me. Fuck that, too. I could bite a cat. You know what, I WANT a cat to bite me now. Just so it can NOT see what’s it’s GOT COMING TO IT.

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